so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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