Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
