my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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