so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
