So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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