Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
