If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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