420 ftw
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
