the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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