If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
