Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
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