Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize