Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize