Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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