3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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