Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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