I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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