Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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