Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize