Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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