sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
