her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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