apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
