I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
