He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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