You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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