Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
