4 words: hood of his car
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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