I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
