You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
