He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
