This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize