Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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