that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
