'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum