Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm sorry my penis didn't work

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  (301): I'm sorry my penis didn't work http://tfl.nu/tw6r
  Replies (10) Good night (898) Bad night (2428)
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  (714): View more from California

  his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time

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  (714): his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time http://tfl.nu/seuc
  Replies (21) Good night (4219) Bad night (742)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out

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  (205): soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out http://tfl.nu/q1wd
  Replies (15) Good night (5377) Bad night (889)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.

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  (352): You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vzqd
  Replies (8) Good night (3694) Bad night (669)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.

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  (801): Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room. http://tfl.nu/l3xg
  Replies (61) Good night (5368) Bad night (2435)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...

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  (405): well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth... http://tfl.nu/pzm2
  Replies (11) Good night (2843) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

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  (412): I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight http://tfl.nu/88wf
  Replies (8) Good night (3723) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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  (214): I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said http://tfl.nu/i92d
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1615)
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  (619): View more from California

  You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.

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  (619): You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos. http://tfl.nu/prke
  Replies (7) Good night (2190) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin

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  (816): And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin http://tfl.nu/pn96
  Replies (7) Good night (631) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best

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  (443): I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/exu8
  Replies (6) Good night (1707) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.

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  (208): Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea. http://tfl.nu/vb43
  Replies (7) Good night (1151) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.

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  (570): I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in. http://tfl.nu/wp3g
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

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  (252): You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives. http://tfl.nu/s1c1
  Replies (10) Good night (506) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank

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  (716): Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank http://tfl.nu/v8v3
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (339)

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