Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  dude, i look like john mccains neck right now

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  (818): dude, i look like john mccains neck right now http://tfl.nu/y0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (630) Bad night (1345)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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  (517): I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house. http://tfl.nu/y6v5
  Replies (9) Good night (1010) Bad night (655)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.

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  (978): Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please. http://tfl.nu/4k32
  Replies (12) Good night (2327) Bad night (1122)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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  (512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo
  Replies (13) Good night (5513) Bad night (676)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was confusing and full of hummus

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  (215): It was confusing and full of hummus http://tfl.nu/wxk0
  Replies (13) Good night (1736) Bad night (3173)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store

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  (617): there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store http://tfl.nu/cjt7
  Replies (23) Good night (10581) Bad night (861)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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  (303): We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen. http://tfl.nu/slj5
  Replies (22) Good night (7245) Bad night (1056)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  like it was yesterday

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  (240): Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday http://tfl.nu/1org
  Replies (20) Good night (11915) Bad night (1382)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yup.

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  (314): hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then? (636): Yup. (314): Yup. http://tfl.nu/bp2u
  Replies (71) Good night (25551) Bad night (2186)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.

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  (617): I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch. http://tfl.nu/yicm
  Replies (13) Good night (2134) Bad night (3270)
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  (805): View more from California

  Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?

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  (805): Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...? http://tfl.nu/0j4d
  Replies (20) Good night (3470) Bad night (2385)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?

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  (503): I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!? http://tfl.nu/h2a2
  Replies (9) Good night (3417) Bad night (803)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.

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  (520): Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks. http://tfl.nu/j1xw
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (1019)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.

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  (602): I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite. http://tfl.nu/08rf
  Replies (5) Good night (1133) Bad night (410)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.

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  (631): Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why. http://tfl.nu/ugb9
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (280)

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