I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk