Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.

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  (925): just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win. http://tfl.nu/n1uf
  Replies (14) Good night (2639) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.

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  (231): I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic. http://tfl.nu/t71g
  Replies (12) Good night (4032) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.

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  (218): i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette. http://tfl.nu/f90v
  Replies (77) Good night (4675) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  everybody makes mistakes

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances

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  (630): everybody makes mistakes (1-630): i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances http://tfl.nu/cihb
  Replies (23) Good night (6713) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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  (904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep
  Replies (8) Good night (2860) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes

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  (424): you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes http://tfl.nu/ok45
  Replies (5) Good night (2842) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.

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  (508): So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test. http://tfl.nu/gxsj
  Replies (31) Good night (8292) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.

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  (+61): Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke. http://tfl.nu/ckis
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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  (847): I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never. http://tfl.nu/n83d
  Replies (14) Good night (1787) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.

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  (410): You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple. http://tfl.nu/ksa4
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.

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  (801): She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch. http://tfl.nu/gwk7
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  All is fair in love and war and toga parties

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  (404): All is fair in love and war and toga parties http://tfl.nu/gkur
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.

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  (412): i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms. http://tfl.nu/uje7
  Replies (6) Good night (568) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Where did you go?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.

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  (925): Where did you go? (1-925): I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever. http://tfl.nu/3xtr
  Replies (0) Good night (615) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha

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  (970): Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha http://tfl.nu/c31t
  Replies (2) Good night (354) Bad night (304)

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