Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience

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(912): View more from Georgia

just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart

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(353): View more from

Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over

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(319): View more from Iowa

Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

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(631): View more from New York

when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I am not being the messenger for your booty call.

(250): View more from British Columbia

I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.

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(214): View more from Texas

I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.

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