so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
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I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me