ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
