Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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