sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
