how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
