you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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