I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
