no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
