She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
