With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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