At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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