FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
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I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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