I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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