i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
