your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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