so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
