were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize