one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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