no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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