Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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