I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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