There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
