I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
