Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
