There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
