After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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