my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
