I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
